Breaking up with the Scale and Loving Yourself Instead

At the Biggest Loser RunWalk expo, during Danni Allen's talk, a woman that looked no older than 23 asked a very relevant question. Having already lost 175 lbs with a few more to go, the woman said that she was having issues with body dysmorphia and still seeing herself as her obese self. She asked how Danni dealt with these feelings.

I'd see this and thought I looked thin

I nodded emphatically as the woman asked the question. Since reaching goal, body dysmorphia is something that I have struggled with as well. The dysmorphia I'm experiencing now is the opposite of what I experienced when I was obese. When I was obese, I would look in the mirror and see photos of myself and not see myself as morbidly obese. I thought I looked fine, even as I would lose my breath tying my shoes.

Now, I look in the mirror at a woman of healthy weight and BMI and still see something with which I'm not happy. It seems absurd, since I know I should be very proud of my accomplishments, and I am, but I still am having trouble letting go.

The demon I'm still facing is very real, and is sitting just a few feet away from me in this room as I write -- it's the scale. As useful as it was during my weight loss, the scale is now my worst critic. But I can't break it off with the scale. I'm still so tied to the numbers on the scale, and it's getting to the point where I'm doing myself more harm than good by stepping on the scale every few days.

This is particularly an issue at the moment because I'm still having a very hard time balancing my food with my half marathon training. Now running upwards of 20 miles a week, I know that I have to be increasing my calorie intake because of the work I'm doing. However, this means that I'm suddenly basically eating everything in sight, which, after losing 90 lbs and exerting such self-control for so long, brings on immense feelings of guilt.

What I see now -- and I'm still unhappy

I've gained a few pounds back with my half marathon training since I probably am eating a little too much for my training, and each time I step on the scale, I feel shame. I know that it is all in my head, and it is all totally self-inflicted. I look at the number on the scale, think "oh my god you're such a fat cow right now." Then I look at myself in the mirror, and because I thought it, that is what I see.

I felt it earlier today when I ate way too much of things that I should not have at some friends' party this afternoon. I went into the party thinking I needed to get a handle back on my eating habits during social events, since my choices lately have, well, sucked. Did I eat as much as I would have during my obese days? No. I probably would have helped myself to two more crab rangoons and another one or two pieces of birthday cake. But I was still disappointed in myself for not living up to my own promises. As penance, I went to the gym as soon as I got home and ran until the gym closed.

But running should not be a punishment. It didn't even assuage much of my guilt. Sure I burned off a bit of what I ate, but I still am upset with myself that I ate it and that I lost control. Again. I'm mad that keep calling myself a fat cow to the point where I see it in the mirror. I'm upset that I still allow the scale to control me, causing me to lose control over myself.

More than ever, I realize that it is time to put away the scale -- put it out of sight completely. If the number I see is just going to make me upset all day, I need to break off my relationship with the scale. It's gotten to be a toxic relationship and I need to do what makes me happy. I need to learn to love my body, "warts and all" as they say, and not punish it by not only eating bad food, but then later, out of guilt, depriving it and "disciplining" it with workouts.

I need a full body-love attitude makeover. It'll require me to grasp control of my eating habits and rid my pantry of the foods I know I tend to binge on when I'm thinking "I ran 7 miles today, I can eat whatever I want." It'll require me to store the scale out of sight, and find the fun in running again. It'll require me to stop calling myself a fat cow, even when I feel like it. It is not what is actually reflected in the mirror and the self-negativity helps absolutely no one.

I need to stop comparing myself to the women who have lost a ton of weight and have perfectly flat stomachs and not my deflated skin mess of a stomach. It's not fair to myself and it's not productive. I have to stop tying my recent unlucky dating adventures to my looks ("did I wear something that made me look fat on our first date?")

I need to start loving myself again.

Race Review: Biggest Loser RunWalk 15K

It is really difficult to approach the review of the Biggest Loser RunWalk 15K race. The packet pickup/expo occurred on Saturday and the race occurred Sunday, and both days were just really some of the best days of my life.

My SparkPeople vlog I did can probably best describe my expo day, which essentially had me leaving the expo in happy, honored, and speechless tears. It also had me feeling like I could have run a marathon Sunday. It was very smart to do the expo with lectures on Saturday prior to the race -- it was the perfect motivation for the race the next day.

Race morning

I woke up early Sunday morning feeling nervous and tired. Thankfully, I was armed with ENERGYbits and so on the el train on the way down to the Museum Campus, I downed the requisite serving. You can read my bits review for further info on that, but I'll go back to the race itself.

My mother and I walked to Soldier Field from the el station and got there about half an hour before race time. We checked our bags at gear check and hit the portapotties (which had a super long line) before we went to the start line. Got out of the stall and, bummer, no hand washing station. Gross.

But there was no time to wander around looking for hand wipes or sanitizer or anything, as Dolvett was on the stage at the starting line and we had to make a mad dash for the incredibly crowded corral. It was a little bit too crowded, especially considering that it really seemed that the number of entrants was not hugely massive.

The starting line

But I took to heart the advice that Francelina gave me Saturday: "Let everyone go ahead of you. The first few miles should not feel like work." So I let it slide that I was sitting in like the 11:00 corral and just went with it. Luckily, when our wave came up to the start, I realized I was actually in the very front of the roped-off wave, so I was golden.

As we passed the start, just off to the left was a platform on which stood Dolvett, Danni, Dan and Jackie, cheering us on as we started off. My wave was released and I headed off. I followed Francelina's advice to the T and started as slow as I could muster, busting ahead of the handful of folks in front of me in the wave but feeling no further need to get ahead of anyone.

I was feeling phenomenal throughout the entire race, but it particularly opened up after the 5K and 15K courses split, which was only after about 1.5 miles. It was also at the Inspiration Station featuring Pam and Jackson. I reached out to Pam, who knew who I was at that point. She immediately recognized me, grabbed my hand and said "Hey! Run with me for a minute!" and she fell into my stride next to me. "How you doing, doing good?" and I said, "Yeah feeling great!" She said, "Great! Good luck, and see you at the finish line!" She then returned back to the little event tent she shared with Jackson.

After the split, the course opened up. With fewer 15K run participants than, well, anything else, there was just a huge amount of open space for the remainder of the race, which was such a luxury on the lakefront trail.

I literally was smiling throughout the entire race. I don't even know what was going on, but I felt I could have run for a decade. I was just so happy and excited and empowered that I just kept pounding the pavement with pure delight. Particularly around Mile 6, there was a little outcropping in the trail and the entire Chicago skyline was on a big vista right in front of the course. Several racers in front of me stopped to take photos -- I didn't, but that provided a huge boost for me. It was a perfect day weather-wise, completely clear, and the entire city was basically on a platter on this vista.

Rounding the finish

Around Mile 7, farther than I have ever run before in my life, I pounded a Gu. It was my first experience with gels, but I think I timed it properly (not only did I intend to take it at Mile 7 but it was also the exact time I felt a pang of hunger).

I was just happily running and then realized that I was about to round the corner to the finish. From the corner to the finish, it was really only about 0.1 or 0.2 miles, and I turned it on. I have never before found the power to sprint for a finish at any distance, but I saw that the finish was super close and I all-out sprinted. There were all these people lining the finish cheering and screaming and pushing me onward.

Francelina and me after the finish

I then saw my mother, who had been waiting at the finish since she completed the 5K about 40 minutes earlier. She was snapping photos and I quickly hugged her on the run before I crossed the finish line. One of the organizers was at the finish with a microphone to meet me, and she gave me a high-five as I happily passed the finish with music and cheering pounding in the background.

I got my medal, my first 15K medal, and dug into the boxes lining the post-finish line: water, banana, bagel.

My mom and I wandered down to the finishers' area where 5K awards were being handed out. I picked up my bag from gear check and did my post-race interview with Biggest Loser RunWalk after having done the long background interview with them during the expo the day prior.

Mom, Jackson, me and Pam after finish

I finished with a 1:34:25. I'd told Jeff during the expo that I hoped to finish in 1:30. However, I was perfectly happy with the 1:34:25 time. It was my first time running that far and long ever and the fact that I finished feeling so good and not like I was going to die was so important for my first 15K.

Again, more is in that vlog on SparkPeople, but even after the race was a continuation of the phenomenal experience. Afterward, I still ended up being OK. I was sore and had to get on a plane just a few hours later for work, but I wore some compression socks for the remainder of the day, including in the airport and on the plane, and I felt OK.

Jeff, me and Francelina after the finish

If you ever have the opportunity to do a Biggest Loser RunWalk event, I highly recommend it. It was probably top to bottom one of the best experiences of my life. It was not only the race but the expo as well. The entire weekend was so phenomenal that I cannot say enough about the race series.

Keep an eye out for my video interviews on the Biggest Loser RunWalk website! I will definitely alert everyone when I see it, but keep an eye.

Completed:
Biggest Loser RunWalk 15K
August 4, 2013
Chicago, IL
1:34:25

Going Off the Rails

Recently, I returned from an annual two-week business trip. I know what you're thinking. "Oh, boy, eating out for every meal for two weeks? How did that go?" Well, last year during this trip, I lost weight because as a meeting planner, I was sprinting around a convention center for a week and a half and didn't have time to eat. This year, I thought I'd lose weight or at least maintain. But I changed my tactics and the results were disastrous.

Just as I'd predicted a Kings/Penguins Stanley Cup Final, the exact opposite occurred. I gained. Six pounds.

Of course, I know exactly what I did wrong, and it's the same thing that got me to 230 lbs in the first place. Apparently, my weakness remains: if you put it in front of me, I will eat it.

The thing with these convention center shows is that all the snack break food and beverage options are unhealthy -- cookies, brownies, rice krispy treats, etc. My new tactic this year was based on how things went last year. Whenever I saw some food out, I ate it, because I didn't know when I was going to next be able to eat.

However, this meant that if I saw a big plate of cookies in the staff office, I ate two. Later in the day, if they were still there, I'd eat one more.  

I couldn't stop.

It was like everything I'd worked toward, all the mindset changes had gone right out the window. I knew while I was eating two big cookies that it was wrong and I shouldn't be doing it, but I did anyway. I ordered a cheeseburger and fries for dinner anyway. None of it was terribly satisfying to me taste-wise, but I did it anyway. Even as I was shoveling fries into my mouth, I was thinking, "What the hell am I doing?"

But I knew exactly what I was doing. I could feel it in how my clothing fit, I could see how I looked a lot thicker in those clothes that I looked just fine in last week.

How could things have gone so wrong? Well, I discovered that my willpower can be dented from time to time. That I am still subject to the "if it's in front of me, I'll eat it" temptation. And occasionally, I will give in to that temptation. Giving into it once in a long while might be OK. But the problem this time is that I gave into it several times per day every day for two weeks.

What's funny is that now that I'm back home, my desire for those cookies and burgers and fries has faded. With a 5K scheduled for Saturday, I ran four miles this morning and have consumed about a third of my calorie allowance for today (and it's almost 4pm). I passed by a Long John Silver's in my neighborhood this afternoon and about gagged. I'm back on the wagon.

Is it just so simple that I don't have the cookies and burgers in my home? Possibly. But I think also as soon as I stepped on the scale this morning and saw just how much damage I'd done, in number form and not just my clothes, I shocked myself back into reality.

We all experience bumps in the road when it comes to weight loss, but the most important thing -- the thing that really reveals one's character -- is how one responds to those bumps.

As for me, I know I can't keep doing this. This will not happen again. I will not go back.

Making a Difference

Last weekend, the teacher I had for both 3rd and 4th grades (my favorite teacher) had a retirement party. There, I saw one of my good friends from high school with whom I'd sort of lost touch. I'd known her since I was about 7 years old, and we'd been good friends for a long time.

We're Facebook friends, but it was really great to see her in person for the first time probably since high school.

Immediately she came clean with me.

"I've been sort of Facebook stalking your running and weight loss and I wanted to tell you that you inspired me and I signed up for a 5K!" she said excitedly.

I was totally thrown. In a good way.

I've had a lot of people -- ones that I'm in constant contact with and ones that I haven't spoken to in 10 years -- get in touch with me to talk about my weight loss and my running and ask for advice. That in itself has been awesome. There are some people I've barely ever talked to that have asked me about how I started running and what I did to get where I am.

However, this was the first time that someone I have known for a long time told me that I directly influenced her to sign up for a race, something she has never done before. Just because she knew she could. Because she knew I did.

I've said it before, but when I started losing weight and running, I wasn't really doing it for anyone else but me. But it's turned into something a lot bigger than me. I've had friends give me blog post ideas (because what they suggest would help them out), ask me how I started running, what apps or programs I used to start running and how I changed my eating.

I hope to accommodate all those requests soon. My day job is calling at the moment, but when I have more free time, I will get to those blog requests.

But I would like to say thank you to all the supporters I've had and all the people that have asked me for advice and tips. It means a lot to me to have so many people ask me how I did what I did, because, well, it means I really did something, if that makes any sense.

Thanks again and stay tuned for your requests!

Opening Your Eyes

This week was difficult for me. I went through some rough patches with a few people close to me (yep, all at once) and after a conversation with my sister and a heart-to-heart with myself, I made some big realizations.

When I lost weight, it wasn't just my body that changed. I changed. The way I think about situations, the way I react to hardships, and the way I approach life's difficulties is light years away from my mindset at 230 lbs.

I didn't just strengthen my body. I strengthened myself.

I am in control of my own destiny and I am in control of my own happiness.

I was surprised at the way I reacted to a particular situation this week. I'd gone through something similar several years ago and at that time, I had just sat back, gave in and let myself be walked all over and defeated. I think back on that now, and I wonder why in the world I did that.

My sister (who, like me, has a psychology degree) said that when I was heavy, she had noticed that I was often that defeatist. She saw someone who had given up. I was of the opinion that I was fat because of genetics and there was nothing I could do about it, so why try? Obviously, that attitude translated to other areas of my life. I had no confidence in myself, my job performance was in the toilet, and I saw no need to change since I thought I would fail (even before I began to try).

Fast forward 92 lbs lost and a few years later to this past week. Faced with a nearly identical situation to that one that had earlier defeated me, I stood up. I faced it head on and I didn't back down. I very easily could have just given up again. With this particular situation, it would be extremely easy just to give up.

But I picked the hard way. The challenging way. The way that had me fighting for what I thought was right.

How did this happen? Why did I completely change my approach to the situation? Well, the weight loss transformation is not solely physical, it's also mental.

Throughout my transformation, I had to dramatically alter my perception of exactly what I was capable of. When I was heavy with no confidence and no fight, I never thought I would be able to lose 92 lbs. I never thought I would have the ability to fit into a size 4 pair of jeans.

But the fact that I did that translates to life situations. Since I eventually got to the point where I stopped giving up on myself and my body, I stopped giving up period. I refuse to be defeated in all aspects of my life now, not just my weight. I don't give up on my relationships with family and friends. I don't give up on challenges at work and because of that I am extremely valued by my employers. When I sometimes feel overwhelmed with how busy I often am, I don't shut down or run away.

I push through, knowing I'll feel better for it. Because that's how it was when I was losing weight. Yes, it was hard, it wasn't always fun, but I pushed through, again, knowing I would be better for it.

There are a lot of obvious benefits of weight loss. Your overall physical health, warding off illness and disease and so on. But one benefit that people might not think of is that mental factor. The strengthening of the mind, attitude and of the personal resolve.

If anyone reading this is wanting to lose weight and you think you can't do it, well, you might think that now. But once you get going, you'll realize you can. You'll realize that not only can you lose weight and change your body, but you can also completely change your mind.

She Shoots, She Scores!

What the heck does that post title mean?

Goal.

It means I scored my goal.

On April 16, 2013, I stepped on the scale while I was getting ready for work in the morning and saw the number 139.5 staring back at me. My goal had been 140. I have beaten my goal.

It was a slightly less exciting occasion than I had imagined. Maybe it's because I was tired (it is a very busy time at work now through June and I have been working at home every evening after I get home FROM work). Maybe it's because I was fully anticipating it, having reached a very close number recently and still working toward it. Maybe it's because I didn't necessarily feel any different. As far as heaviness and clothing fit go, 141.5 feels about the same as 139.5.

But regardless, I reached goal, hitting under 140 for the first time since, well, as previously explained, probably some point in high school. It's crazy feeling certain parts of my body now and feeling just how muscular I am, particularly with the muscle being unimpeded by fat. I discovered just today that my obliques are absurdly taut, and I love how now I have a visible collarbone not buried by fat, and my legs are just... well, they're rock hard.

So what now? Now that I've hit goal, how in the world am I to maintain? What if I gain? What if I keep losing because I don't know how to maintain?

For now, I'm going to keep doing what I've been doing. My eating habits have changed so profoundly through the past year and a half that I can't imagine eating any differently than I have been. In fact, at this point, I actually prefer eating as healthily as I do (who would've thought?)

I'm going to keep running too of course. I now have 6 races between now and September (varying 5 and 10Ks) and I have no intention of stopping now. I have everything to owe to running. I couldn't imagine life without it -- it is just that important to me now.

I think back to my first post on this blog in November, when I still had about 20 pounds to go to this point. Then, I said that you can do it. It remains true.

I did.

1.5 Pounds

1.5 pounds. How much is that really?

It's a bag of 5 medium-sized boneless chicken breasts (incidentally, my favorites).  It's the current incarnation of the iPad. It's a Maine lobster.

It's also how far away I am from my goal weight.

I moved even closer to the city of Chicago just last week, and wasn't able to weigh myself all week because I had been so busy cleaning/unpacking, and with the massive routine changes, most of the time I'd just plain forgot.

I stepped on the scale Saturday and was absolutely shocked to see the number 141.5 staring back at me. My goal weight had always been 140. I am 1.5 pounds away from goal.

I suppose I shouldn't be too surprised. I hadn't been able to run much over the week (and the runs I'd managed had been pretty awful), but I had been feverishly cleaning, scrubbing, jogging around my new condo putting things away and carrying heavy objects for the last seven days. I'd also been home-cooking for about four days of the week, serving up various chicken breast dishes with rice and vegetables for myself and my boyfriend.

1.5 pounds. It was an incredibly exciting number to see, so tangible and reachable. But at the same time, there's some terror attached. What if I stall and the scale doesn't move for weeks? Even worse, what if I gain? That enticing 1.5 number would get taken away from me, and I'd be still further from where I want to be after coming so close.

Even further, what happens after I reach my goal? What if I gain it back again? What if I find I'm completely unable to maintain?

However, there's obviously a huge upside to being 1.5 pounds away. In all of my years of weight struggle, I have never been so close to seeing that magic goal number. In my previous weight loss attempt with Jenny, I'd gotten no closer than 35 pounds away.

I can't even remember the last time I was 140 pounds. In high school, I never weighed myself regularly. Weight was not really a concern to me at the time, since as a two-sport athlete,  I'd always been of a relatively healthy weight all throughout my teenage years. The last time I was 140 pounds was definitely when I was in high school, but I couldn't tell you the exact age.

It still hasn't quite hit me how close I am. It's surreal to be so close, since I never have been this close to goal before. I was walking down the street the other day and caught my reflection in a store window as I passed. I had to stop for a moment, as I was shocked by how skinny I am. This week I also noticed for the first time that my calves are rock-hard muscle with nary an ounce of fat (thanks, running!)

I haven't thought of myself as being skinny for a very long time (if ever).

While the worries are still there, I know that I have changed my lifestyle so profoundly over the past 18 months that I can't see myself going back to how it was. I can't see myself going back to eating an entire box of Kraft Mac and Cheese in one sitting. I can't see myself quitting running -- especially with five races (three 5Ks and two 10Ks) all coming up within the next six months.

This has been an incredible journey, losing 90 pounds. It's been incredibly difficult, but so rewarding. I've discovered amazing things about myself that have truly made me a different person. I've discovered strength in myself that I never knew existed, and that in turn has given me so much confidence and a new-found sense of self-worth, which is something money could never buy.

The journey really has been life-changing -- physically and emotionally. Looking back at it now, going through a life-changing experience is a really exhilarating thing, something everyone should experience in their lives. It of course doesn't have to be weight loss, it can be anything, but the whole concept of a life-changing experience is so incredible. There's really no other word for it.

I'm still going to be a ball of nerves until I hit goal, and I can't even imagine the nutty dichotomy of feelings once I do actually see 140 on that scale. It won't be long now until I see it, and I have to believe that. I've had confidence in myself through this whole process, and I can't stop being confident in my ability to accomplish this now.

1.5 pounds.

I've got this.

I Used to Be Fat

With the weather getting colder, I recently walked into the newly-built LA Fitness near my house to join. As I sat with the sales consultant who sold me my membership, I told her about my recent weight loss (at the time, 65 pounds in about 10 months). When another salesman came over to say hello, she told him how much weight I'd lost.

"Wow," he said. "You're a real-life success story!"

It was the first time I'd heard someone call me a success story. I'd never thought of myself that way, but I suppose now that I think about it, I am. And now I'm taking ownership of it.

I wasn't always fat. I was a normal-sized, active child who was also a competitive figure skater. I stopped skating in high school, but even after dropping the skating, I was still a two-sport athlete. In the winter, I played on our girls' ice hockey team, and in the spring, I played on the badminton team.

It was after high school that my weight issues began, particularly in that caloriefest known as college. I entered college wearing a size 6/8 - I left it a size 14. The "Freshman 15" is supposed to be proverbial, but for me, it was a reality. I kept packing it on during college, and after graduation, I went even further off the deep end. By 2009, two years after graduating college, I was a size 18 and weighed 230 lbs.

I went on Jenny Craig in 2009, and by 2010, had successfully lost 55 lbs. But then, I plateaued. Hard. To make matters worse, I lost my job in 2011 and couldn't afford to order Jenny Craig anymore, and I subsequently lost all the forward progress I'd made.

I know now what the problem was. Instead of "changing my lifestyle," I'd learned to eat what was given to me. I thought I'd been changing my lifestyle, but what I really needed to do to change my eating habits hadn't sunk in at all. I had merely been forcing myself to eat the Jenny Craig food, and purposefully attempted to deprive myself of the cheeseburgers and burritos that I really wanted to eat.

Once Jenny Craig was out of the picture, all those deprivations were out the window. That coupled with unemployment meant I was sitting around all day eating those cheeseburgers I had so wanted the whole time I was on Jenny. I gained every pound back, and the size 18 jeans made a terrible reappearance.

The job market was a tough go in DC, and after six months, I was forced to move back in with my parents in the Chicago area in November 2011. I continue to lament the fact that I can't walk anywhere in my small suburb, but on the other hand, it has kept me from wandering two blocks down the street to Chipotle and has put a lot of home-cooked (and calorie-controlled) meals on my plate instead.

After I moved home, I started to lose weight. I'm not even entirely sure how it happened or why it happened, but I started to eat less and eat better food, snack less, and drink less. Fast food became a nauseating prospect, and full-fat cheese became Exorcist-level frightening. By June 2012, I'd lost 50 lbs by sheer diet changes alone.

But I needed to do something more. I'd lost 50 lbs, yes, but I could see my momentum start to slow. I'd never been a big fan of exercise - I hated sweating and doing any sort of exercise that I deemed not fun (which was, well, most exercise). Yet in July, I registered for my second 5K. I was determined to jog most of it, and knocked 10 minutes off my previous time, a Turkey Trot in November 2011 that I walked.

I don't know what happened exactly, but something in me switched on. Running was perhaps my most hated activity previously, and I could never find the motivation to follow through with it. But for some reason, I wanted more. I figured out what could make me exercise: competition. By nature, I'm a very competitive person, and I discovered that competition would give me the motivation to run.

So I purchased a Couch to 5K app on my phone for the internal competition of constantly striving for a better pace, a better time, a harder run. I also bought the Zombies, Run! app, which provided the best external motivation possible: running from zombies. With the two apps, I started running almost every day. From August to November, I lost another 20 lbs, bringing my weight loss total to 70 lbs.

In my second Turkey Trot, one year after a 230 lb walk, I completed a 29:48.7 5K, my first sub-30 race and a PR for sure. It's ridiculous to think about how far I've come in a year, and how much I believe I have really changed my lifestyle for good.

I'm a comfortable size 10 (which I haven't been since early freshman year of college), in a size medium in shirts (which I haven't been since high school), and 160 lbs. But I still have more to go. My goal is to lose 20 more pounds, to put me at a weight that is considered within the normal range for my height. I'd love to fit back into a size 6, but even an 8 would make me happy (though I do already have some size 8 pants that fit me).

I'm thinner and much fitter than I've been in almost 10 years, and I feel like I'm in the best shape of my life, physically and emotionally.

So why start this blog? Whenever I got excited about a new PR or a great workout, I feel like I was bugging my Twitter followers about it (most of them follow me for hockey, and probably don't really care about how my run went today). So for me, this is a place for chronicling my progress, bragging about my latest pace, lamenting hangups, but also reviewing healthy foods and recipes, athletic apparel, local races, and more.

Since I began this journey, I've had people tell me I'm an inspiration. It's a huge compliment, and something I'm still not totally comfortable agreeing with. But if you find inspiration from this blog, I'm glad. I just want to share my story in the hopes that others can believe they can do what I did.

Because it's possible. You can do it. You can run a 5K; you can lose 5, 10, 50 pounds; you can learn to love grilled chicken salads so much more than Five Guys cheeseburgers.

The comment box is always open and I'd love suggestions on new things to try. Thanks for visiting and joining me on the journey.